Incomprehensible Dreams

Have u eva had a dream.. one tat will leave u tinkin all day long.. one tat really pierces thru ur heart and makes u wanna go all out to get it.. seeing lots of ppl around me fulfilling their dreams one by one.. happy 4 them.. then a question comes to me.. Wat's mine? Kinda got lost somewhere at the beginning of the year.. Sunday during svc, I was downrite sick.. didn't serve.. mastered all the strength I had to drag myself 4 svc.. During praise.. I teared.. During worship.. I teared even more.. When Pst Kong asked us to give a 28 min standing ovation to God.. I was cheering, clapping my heart out & tearing to the max! Tink if ppl were to c me then.. they must be tinking.. wat's this girl crying so much abt? At tat time my mind just took me thru all my shortcomings & obstacles in 2007.. my family.. my job.. my life.. my ministry.. times where, I almost wanted to give up.. still He saw me thru it all.. Looking forward.. I am still so blessed.. God still loves me 4 who I am.. I may not be the best choir helper/singer around.. but He still uses me in ways tat sometimes even I fail to see. He knows my desire for certain things in His Kingdom even when I was just too tired to ask anymore.. To Him I am unique.. Things happen 4 a reason.. but yet we fail to see thru our problems.. our minds are always clouded by the problem itself.. Even now, while going thru my daily routine of work, home, church, cg, serving in choir.. I still ponder at times.. where does this route of mine take me in this lifetime? Am I really really ok? can I work out the potential in me? Wat do I really want? all I know is.. I aspire to do more in His Kingdom.. Planning for 2008 isn't really a very easy thing to do.. I'm stuck at many areas.. somehow.. my pen just doesn't seem to surface my inward thoughts.. haven't been slping well either.. talked to JH yest nite.. we had a good talk.. thank God 4 best frens.. felt like I needed a break from the hectic schedule of my job and assignments.. so I'm gonna take leave on Fri, meeting my leader on Fri nite to plan.. Honestly.. I hv concluded tat feeling lost is perfectly normal..we just gotto seek, find and knock at the ending point.. just like how I'm gonna seek Him.. God, really help me k.. I know U can.. U gotto see me thru this.. this lost phase of my life.. help me to fine my way thru this.. I am totally wholly dependant on U & U alone.. I believe, U will see me thru it all.. I'll be fine..

Bye 2007... Hello 2008...

It has already been 5 days into Jan.. I was really flooded with work this week.. at times, I was so busy in the office tat I didn't even have the time to go toilet much less drink water.. can u imagine that?! On top of that, I still got a 4000 word assignment to complete by this wk. Thank God they extended the deadline to 1 wk later.. Hallelujah!! *shouting out loud* Hmm.. this yr's really different.. Normally, I'll carefully plan for my resolutions for the upcoming year but this time round.. it seems as if 2008 just started arubtly.. I'm still in the process of planning.. Have been doing alot of thinking in bits & pieces (cos of my hectic schedule) about where I want to go & wat I want to accomplish in future.. Really seeking His direction in my life rite now.. Thank God that He has placed quite a few ppl in my life to help me out in this area here & there.. I do believe tat every yr's gonna be better than the previous one.. my cgl constantly reminds me tat he believes a breakthru is coming 4 me this yr.. really sounding as if he believes in me more than I do.. haha.. It's funny though.. sometimes I feel I've accomplished quite a fair bit, sometimes I feel tat I can accomplish so much more.. rite now.. I'm just feeling like a hot air balloon, rising but really abt to burst on the inside.. I hope to be filled up not with air this year.. I want to be filled up with His love, presence, guidance, fulfilment, joy, thankfulness and creativity this year in 2008.. my completion is in Him.. Ultimately, it's Him tat matters most to me in this lifetime of mine.. Thanks God 4 pulling me thru.. thru it all... Couldnt have made it past 2007 without Your help.. That's a sure thing!