The 'Hunting' Season

Yeh... it is the hunting season now in chc... but not 4 me... was just bumping into a few frens these few days & all of them asked me the same question..."how Amanda...? got some1 anot?".... here's where reality check begins... if some1 were to really fall in love with me... it will just be like Beauty falling in love with the Prince first then the Beast will subtlly appear next to majorly freak her out... I'm serious... 1st obstacle: myself... 2nd obstacle: my family... 3rd obstacle: my friends... I would say the 1st 2 areas are bigger... the tigress within & her family... it's complicated... too private to post it here... sometimes I wonder... where does this word happiness come from? God.. when U created this word, wat went thru UR mind? On Tues, I was admitted to the A & E @ Changi Hospital.. got discharged within an hr or so.. had 3 days mc... at home now recuperating.. Social services will be coming in a few days to have a talk with my family... I've an assignment due on thurs.. havent started yet... Every wk for me is a drama... so much so tat sometimes, I keep it all to myself.. not bcos i dont trust God... but bcos sometimes I'm just very very very tired of talking... all of us are not prefect... even leaders have their down times.. but it is impt tat we all climb out of that pit-hole & bounce back to our feet.. my close frens are still there... but they cant be there 4 me 24/7... only God can... I've this habit of looking at the sky during my quiettime to enjoy His presence.. I feel starring at this form of nature is 1 way to know tat there's always a God who's looking out for u.. I will be accountable after I've recovered.. tat's me... I'm deep... it takes a really very understanding person to get to know me within... If the guy is out 4 a fairy tale ending... then sorry... I'll pass.. now guys... this is my reason why I havent found some1 yet... it's very very complicated.. my life goes way past the everyday routine lifestyle of an avg Singaporean... so dont ask me y am I still not attached or y I still have not found some1? I will... in time to come but who? only God knows... I'm happy for all those around me who have found their love.... my advice... stay happy always.... work towards happiness.. Ask God for constant happiness.. cherish tat happiness & u'll be happy... most of the time...

Last Semester for the FT students..

Nah.. it's not the last 4 me... but today when I attended the compulsory lectures, it was going to be some of my fellow classmates last semester.. They're mostly full-time students so they can finish their course earlier.... some of us have been classmates for the past 3 yrs.. we were just talking about it today during their smoking break... 3 years! can you imagine...?? everything's super ticking by the clock... hiaz.. it's sad to see them go... from next semester onwards, I'll not see them anymore... this weekend, it was rather boring for the Research Methods & Theory class but for the Organisational Psychology.. as usual, I kept clowning around during the activities done... it was super fun... we had to build something tall using some material... then do some crazy tests... after everything, I actually introduced myself to the lecturer (the 1 who failed me for plagarism last semester).. he just told me." Oh.... so you're the one.... dont ever do that again... you should be lucky you're still in the course... I wasn't so lenient towards the others..." haha... oops... my fault I guess... kinda took the easy way out while doing the assignments in addition to my full-time job & lots of stuff going on.... during his class, I was super responsive to all his questions... made the whole class laugh during group discussions (1 of my classmate even asked me if I was on drugs!! crazy gurl....) & I was so surprised that he laughed as well... whahaha.. u should have seen him laugh... with his big fat tummy, he looked like Santa Claus enjoying early Chirstmas... whahaha.... he's actually 1 serious dude who goes around scolding students(including me)... every1 super dislikes him... in turn.. he kept using me as examples... 1 very good example for a plagarism case.... now the whole class knows I plagarised... malu... have been a 'maluating' student since young actually... 1 of my classmate asked me," wha... why he so good to you ah? got special treatment...." Hmm... nah... no special treatment la I feel... just favour from God I guess... I'm surprised now I actually feel like I do like him... 1 of my fav teachers now... Hopefully everything goes well for me & I'll be able to grad by the end of next year (2009)... it's been really draggy for me.... How do I view sch life now as a part-time student? now... I like school, I still eat in class (not finger food but real meals like chicken rice.. haha)... still hate assignments but tries not to visit the website http://www.echeat.com/ (1 assignment due tmr but I'm still working on it.. on my own), still hate studying (but no choice.. gotto do it).. showing lecturers much more respect whenever I talk to them than b4 when I first joined church... stopped bullying my version of "nerdy & oh-so-high & mighty classmates" (in my psych class there're actually tons of nerds)... I group with newer people now instead of sticking to that same bunch that always sits at the back of the class, fold their arms & clown around when it's time to be serious... Nevertheless, I still sit at the back but I clown at the rite time... not randomly like I used to b4... school actually rocks overall... too bad.. I'm just a part-time student... going to school makes me feel young... Sometimes I bump into some of the local lecturers who actually hv lots of stuff to talk about to me... they know I hv trouble studying so they always ask me how am I coping... from there we chat just about anything under the moon & the sun... wat's the best thing about them is.. they accept me for who I am... even if I just pass, they'll be very happy for me... hahaha... today, I was so sleepy... during the lecture I went out by the backdoor downstairs to buy bubble tea cos it has pearls to chew on then I wouldn't sleep.. couldn't wait till breaktime... b4 tat I made use of the time to ease myself by some bombing... in total I was gone for 45 mins... oops again... yeh I know... only Amanda would do such absurd things rite? Still got some remnants of naughtiness in me... ok.. I'm trying.. really trying... Tmr's another round of that boring lecture... BUT... I hv to cherish the last few moments with my FT classmates.. really gonna miss them...

Shiong Shiong.. really Shiong...

Super duper shiong wk 4 me.. but the 1st 2 days of my corporate journey's not tat bad... waking up 4 the 7am prayer meeting really is shiong... dont really like to rush here & there... I leave the house at 6.30am & come home at 8pm... lots to grasp at work.. lots of clinical terms to memorize.. I do about 4 interviews a day.. 1/2hr to 45 mins each... long talks with my boss... needa meet her ad hoc demands... this is crazy... really feeling it rite now.. abit feverish... tink i betta go rest early today... this weekend I got compulsory weekend sch.. gonna miss service... sianz... just when i needed them to feed me spiritually.. nvm.. I'll bang on cg & the PMs... okie.. gonnna pop some pills then go to bed.. I seriously wonder how the SOT students do it... ppl like Gab... I salute u bro.... honestly...

Beijing Olympics

Guess wat.. when I was typing this.. my comp auto shut down... & my full blog was gone... yes... once it's gone.. it's really gone.. so now I'm trying to start over by recalling remnants of wat I tried to explain earlier.. Anyway... I watched the Beijing Olympics & I tell u.. it was spectacular.. This is coming from some1 who was ex anti "chi-nah"... In the past I even hated my own race... yes.. I know... some of u r really shocked but sad to say.. it was true... got better though when I got saved... okie.. back to the Beijing olympics... ya.. I was really blown away by the way the people of Beijing displayed all forms of art & the unity formed during the performance... although it was very China style.. the overall performance was tremendously colourful & enlightening... it's really amazing how they can put the story of China all in just one performance.. I didn't get sick of seeing it.. my butt was glued to the sofa for hours (apart from toilet breaks).. when the nations were doing the march ins.. I actually sat there to see everyone of them enter the stadium... amazing... so many countries... so many types of people... some reserved.. some super onz like me... hahaha... His creation rocks man... I liked the part where the torch was lighted by the last man... it was really cool... yes.. I'm really blown away by the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics... after tat nite.. I actually caught the women's weightlifting & basketball matches... man... these women are really tough man.. sometimes I wonder whether they're males in disguise... so muscular!! wha.... I hope to see more handsome hunky swimmers down the road when I switch on the TV.. abit tired of watching women matches.. but this is with the exception of men's weightlifting competition... I find them disgusting.. too muscular already... abit gross la I feel... the date 8/8/08 is really an aupicious date to most typical chinese ppl.. to me.. I hardly care.. but I heard in China they actually hv induced pregnancy to make themselves pregnant on this date... hiaz... the extent to wat ppl go thru & lengths they take just for making it to "kana" the auspicious date... wat's up man?! nvm.. it's just their preference & liking... wat can I say rite? just be happy... tat's wat I always tell myself... just be happy.. everything's gonna be alrite... well.. I am happy now... tmr is a brand new day for me after crossing over a mountain & a valleythe last 3 weeks or so... ambigious rite? nvm... want to know just ask me wat am I talking abt... I'll try to explain to u as much as I can... thank God 4 great supporters from peers & family... gonna be quite shiong cos assignments are coming up as well.. gonna test my discipline to wake up early everyday to go to paya lebar 4 PM starting tmrl... I will try my best... at the end of the day.. at least I tred my best... but I know I need tat so I'm willing to rise early & go 4 it by hook or by crook... I tink my "jie meis" will be there as well.. so cool to pray with them.. all mighty strong cgls with such a dynamic cg & prayer life... my inpirations... earnestly... tink these few days I really must cherish my bed & slp.. like wat I always say... cherish every single moment of ur life... whahaha...

D.I.S.C

Have u guys eva taken the DISC personality test? I've taken one in sec sch, another one when I first started working and just a few days ago... I took another... my results... I have changed from a D.I to an I.D.. & am now a I.S.... xia was just telling me tat day... where did ur D disappear to? yes.. I feel it's gone... but perhaps for the better... I feel it's for the better... circumstances around me just change and as I moved with that change... I changed as well.. so I guess in the midst of coping & dealing with changes... I lost my D... have been thru quite a bit these 3 yrs... some1 told me tat my life experiences can definitely be compiled to shoot a drama series.. better than soap opera... whahaha... but I hv become much stronger and am thankful for tat... couldn't hv done it without HIM... I was actually out with J one day... she asked me wat my life would be like without HIM in it... my thoughts just went blank suddenly... I had my answer... my life would definitely be meaningless... I feel it is always a joy to go thru obstacles with ppl who care... at least u know u're not alone... u have ppl to count on in times of need... these ppl are put in ur life 4 a purpose to help u out thru this tough journey.... perhaps this may b one of the reasons why I am still here today... Thank God 4 tat... Gonna be a tough few weeks ahead.. sch, work, ministry, family, personal growth, frens... things are actually heating up now... but I believe if I hv gotten this far.. I'll carry on.. I'll keep on keeping on & I will succeed cos NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER!! amen & amen to tat........

Life & Death

Life & death..... something everyone will have to go thru someday in their lifetime.. wat happens if u were the 1 experiencing the lost of a love one... hiaz.... unbearable huh.... these few days I've been seeing alot of my frens each experience the death of a family member one by one..... parent.. grandparent... relative..... sometimes I ask why must such things happen? Why does God allow such things to happen? It is really not easy to deal with a death of a love one... I cannot imagine how I would feel if the same would happen to me... it would definitely feel like my whole world has just crumbled down.. Just got off the phone with 1 of my fren.... her mum just passed away aft battling cancer for abt a yr or so... hard time 4 her... the longest I eva toked to her on the phone but we grew closer... her family grew closer... I'm glad tat at least some good can spring forth from a death at times... she's strong... at times like this.. I really look up to her... hiaz.. just tryin to be there 4 her now... I didn't know the seriousness of her mum's condition so I kinda neglected her... really regretting it now... so I'll try to make amends to the best of my ability... tat means I got a wake to attend tmr nite aft work.. On a personal touch, I lost my aunt to cancer a few yrs back as well.... so I kinda know how it feels but I guess every person's hurt is differentiated to a certain level beyond comparison... so I shall not compare, but the impt thing abt this is tat our faith & strength gets drastically tested... so it is a joy to grow thru life... thru it all.. we know tat some time aft all these is over.. we can finally stand tall once again and say... "I'm okay... & I'm on my way".. Yay!