All going down? Now's the time for up..

I was at Pst Derek's zone meeting at JW on Fri.. When the bus drove past JW Church I had deep tots.. This is a place where many of us had layed our lives and finances down for.. to build God a house.. One tat we can call our own.. some of them are no longer around.. They have drifted away.. tat's sad.. their first love is no longer Jesus.. For me.. tat place holds many bitter sweet memories.. some worth clinging on to.. some really meant to be discarded.. I always find comfort, peace and joy just by being in His house.. I can just stay there for hours and not feel like going away.. Funny.. I talk like it's my first time going there but the fact is I go there every wed for choir prac.. haha.. anyway.. Went there.. just flowed in the spirit.. Pst preached a dynamic sermon.. Have you eva wondered why everything's going way down.. every single thing's going wrong BUT A river will always find its way of escape.. Likewise.. so will you.. this is the main gist of the sermon.. I cried buckets.. Zhifu said he's glad I came to received the fresh oil from heaven.. ya.. I'm glad I was there.. My choir IC wrote in her blog something which I found very meaningful.. "I can never understand why two people who used to love each other so much and after having their love products can turn into enemies and make things so hard for each other. Why can't they settle things peacefully? Why hurt someone whom you once love?" Ya.. the hurt can be very very deep.. so deep tat u dun really know when u'll come out of it.. saw him today.. not once but thrice.. Man! how do u get to bump into someone so many times.. as usual.. I just turned away.. Sometimes you dun really know why u love tat persons.. he may be the ugliest person on earth... totally incompatible to you but you know you just love him.. Funny rite.. how love goes?

Me the Drama Mama...

Everywhere I go.. my monstrous laughter remains.. Just got off the TV.. watched Bad Boys on channel 5 starring Will Smith.. He's cool.. I like him.. as usual.. laughed like crazy.. but the show's genuinely funny lor.. Monday blues kinda set in today.. went straight home, bathed, locked my self in my room, went down on my knees and prayed.. Teared.. poured out my heart to Him.. so ya.. I'm better now.. Yesterday was my Grandpa's Bday.. I gave him a humongous Hongbao.. The biggest Ang Bao I've eva wrapped.. Well.. glad he was happy.. tat's wat counts at the end of the day.. to see my love ones happy.. BF's coming.. better start praying for the right amt to give.. Man! This means I gotta give up shopping.. KTV.. Hanging out at cafes.. blah blah blah... all my favourite pasttimes.. hope I won't have to give them all up for long.. plus not forgetting my fabulous sch fees.. okie.. let's not go deeper.. one step at a time girl.. Lucas called me today.. he asked me to help out in my zone's drama for Thurs and Fri.. Lot's of tots ran thru me.. funny how just one simple request can get me thinking so hard.. but some will understand why.. anyway.. I agreed so this Thurs & Fri I really dunno how this is goin to come to past.. but I know tat HE's always there wheneva I need HIM.. It's not gonna be too tough rite? Is it? We'll see.. My colleagues asked me today.. How do you endure so much stress at the age of just 22 (turning 23 in abt 2 mths time).. Well.. It's just God seeing me thru.. Sometimes I dun even know how I got this far.. I just walk and walk.. looking back at times but I just keep walking and walking.. Looking back.. yes.. I have really gotten far.. some things have already drifted far apart from where I'm standing but some still linger on with me.. To me, every single day of my life is like a battle.. A battle tat I'm able to win on my own.. I'm only 22, wat in the world would I know at this age but yet I have already gone thru much more than wat most 22 yr olds have gone thru.. Surely there must be someone helping me thru it all.. Isn't the answer obvious who tat person is? My sweet sweet Jesus.... It's really cos of HIM.. If not.. I would have given up a long long time ago.. and I really mean a long long time ago.. I've one more assignment to go b4 my exams for this sem start.. It's Abnormal Psych and Biz Law.. 2 Modules.. Bombastic rite? I've a job tat's stresses me every single minute of the day, ministry, cg, family, frens (core ones) and 2 modules! Arrgghh.. Breathe babe breathe... U'll pull thru..

Sick.. Sick.. Sick..

Neglecting my blog big time man.. okie.. everything's down this wk.. He's getting married.. still tryin to graspe the fact tat I need to be happy 4 him.. Have been way down lately.. sick.. asthma came back.. sorethroat.. fever.. flu (like waterfall).. now blocked nose n cough.. hmm.. guess we all have our down times ya.. still "crawled" to work for the past 3 days and cg today.. Life's tough.. but wat to do? this is life.. of course with all the help from Him, family and some awesome frens.. I'll always pull thru.. My work's piling up like crazy.. making mistakes.. lots of them.. geez.. Why? I'm really trying!! Xia will be coming over to join my cg soon.. great start and big bounce back for her.. Hope she'll continue to grow.. A new beginning awaits.. Today cg's sermon was abt dreams.. I've soooo many dreams tat have yet to come to pass.. some tat have yet to be embraced.. but at the end of the day.. i will need to put my heart n soul into all of it.. One of my fren's gf really treating him bad.. still he doesn't want to breakup.. wow.. the power of love.. impressive.. Jas's cg is being reshuffled.. wow.. she must be dealing with alot now in her mind.. As her bestfren I just got to stay by her just like she has done for me countless times before.. Just got off the phone with 4 ppl... feeling much better now.. the last conversation will be the one I have with God before I sleep then that should do it.. A nice sleep to a better tomorrow.. byez...

When the unexpected happens....

Received quite a shockin bit of news yesterday.. met XM, Jas & Jiahui at Ceni to share abt it at our usual hang out place.. Hu Peh peh's.. haha.. attempted to preach to XM & Jas.. they were impressed.. surprisingly! they told me, "Cm'on! preach it girl!" haha... tat's precisely y we're best frens.. we see our flaws not as weaknesses but rather as 'work-in-progress'.. sang KTV with James.. He sent us home in his car tat was all covered with bird shit! Eeee... Yuck! He seriously should have parked elsewhere.. haha.. heard he was going to spend the rest of the nite washing his car.. oh man.. soo poor thing.. haha... reached home quite late yesterday.. went straight to bed after tot I was ok until I unexpectedly teared in the office today.. oh man.. haven't done tat in quite a while.. but dun worry guys.. I'm alright.. tink i shared with some of u wat happened.. guess I just got to embrace tat fact n move on.. Andrea told me.. I've already gone soo far.. wat is this to me.. I'll pull thru.. tough! but since when has it eva been easy? never.. lots of ppl goin thru almost the same thing.. either they break it or make it.. my cgl once preached.. once u get down on ur knee to cry out to Him.. Half the battle is already won.. He hears.. At times like these.. this is really wat I ought to do.. Down on bended knee.. crying out to the only person who'll understand me most.. Just recalled a song by Mariah Carey.. I used to sing it when I was down during my teenage years.. part of the song goes like this.. You're with me Till that bitter end What we had transcends This experience Too painful to Talk about So I hold it in Till my heart can mend To be brave enough to love again A place in time Still belongs to us Stays preserved in my mind In the memories there is solice oh... Never too far away I won't let time erase One bit of yesterday cos I have learnt that no.... body can take your place Though we can never be I'll tink of u n me Always remember.. You're never too far... What eva it is.. God's in control.. He is & 4eva will be..

Miss Thing has graduated!

Today's the graduation of one of my best fren, Jiahui.. Bought her a humongous stalk of sunflower.. Got to sit with Jas.. XM had to take care of her members.. so sad.. hope her cg stabilizes soon so she can spend more time with us on big impt occasions like these.. iya.. but I understand la.. anyway.. we cheered 4 alot of ppl like crazy.. Very happy 4 Jiahui.. SOT wasn't easy.. lots of challenges faced along the way.. We're best frens so wateva she goes thru.. I feel it too somehow.. Have been led to go SOT as well.. but lots of thoughts flooded my mind once again.. got to pray abt it first la.. Today's the first time I took so many photos.. almost blinded by the camera flash lights.. haha.. so many frens graduated.. wow.. some were very popular.. Jiahui actually had a "surround sound system" when she received her cert on stage.. I'm really very happy 4 her.. she was very happy too.. She had 1 whole big bag of flowers.. I could see the look on her face.. H-A-P-P-Y.. haha.. she had a breakthru in her cg as well.. her members actually bought 4 her a guitar.. Amazing.. how a group of youths can afford a guitar.. it must have been a big sacrifice on their part.. they even made a video 4 her.. man.. she's loved.. tat's all I can say.. See.. we can receive love in many ways.. not just in a man-woman relationship.. 4 me.. I'm really blessed with many wonderful frens.. 3 of whom I know will stick by me thru thick & thin.. & not forgetting a Father in Heaven who'll nv leave nor forsake me.. so for that.. I've got all the love I need.. saw LPC today.. gave me a very stone face.. was quite affected by it at first but after that I realised that I had more impt things to think abt.. so wasn't really bothered by it in the end.. wat will come to past WILL come to past.. I trust in Him & believe tat He will only make the best for me happen.. We hung out at Changi Airport after that.. we were sooo tired tat we used a luggage trolley to put our bags and stuff.. settled at Starbucks.. shared lots of stuff.. haven't been doin tat in a very long time.. tmr we're gonna celebrate Jiahui's bday.. hope I can finish my work fast to leave the office earlier to meet Jas & XM.. it's gonna be a great day tmr.. here's shining in my workplace in every possible way I can.. Cheers! U go girl...